“Experience is a tool chest. As you get older, the number of your tools increases.” Deborah Szekely

Last year my father bought me a tool chest—not some little single-drawer pink plastic box but a nearly six-foot tall Craftsman multi-drawer model with a place for every tool in my possession—and then some.

While this may seem like an odd gift from a father to his grown daughter, it made perfect sense to me, since, as a homeowner, I found myself with an every-growing inventory of hand and power tools that needed to be stored.

And while in a pinch a tiny flathead screwdriver could turn a Phillips head screw, the job is so much easier when I have the right equipment—which is how I ended up with a complete assortment of drill bits, pliers and hammers, not to mention handsaws, measuring tools and two kinds of power saws: a circular saw and a chain saw.

It’s the same way in life. Each event, circumstance or challenge adds to our experience, giving us tools that better prepare us to meet the next one.

And while we may at times regret the necessity for needing all these “life tools” or for that matter, the event that made owning the tool a requirement in the first place, there is a certain amount of power and independence that comes with having a fully stocked tool chest.

“You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” Mary Pickford

So you gave it (the relationship, the job, the life change) your best shot and it didn’t work. You had a minor setback. You hit a major snag. You had an absolute defeat.

Now what?

As tempting as it can be to throw in the towel and give up, hold off until the dust settles.Then, take a look at what happened and figure out what you can learn from it.

Did it really go wrong or was the outcome simply not what you expected? Was there a flaw in the plan, in the execution of the plan or in your expectations? What could or should you have done differently?

Once you have learned all you can from the experience, stand up and brush the dust from your spirit.

And then try again—from a wiser, more experienced place.

“Be who you are and say what you like. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” Theodor “Dr. Seuss” Geisel

In the reptile world, there is a creature called a chameleon. It changes its coloring to adapt to its surroundings, a self-protective device that keeps it from ending up on its enemy’s dinner menu.

But while this may be an admirable trait for these cold-blooded creatures, it’s a less than desirable characteristics among humans.

It’s critical that we establish standards for ourselves and then adhere to them—a concept that I explored in my current book project, Say “Yes!” for a Change! Otherwise, people won’t know where we stand, what we believe in or who we truly are. What’s worse, if we change our “colors” each time we feel threatened or challenged, we run the risk of not even knowing ourselves.

Each time you are tempted to give way, give in or change positions, ask yourself whose opinion matters more: that of the person confronting you or your own opinion of yourself.

Stay true to yourself.

“They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”—Andy Warhol

There is no denying that it’s been a tough couple of months for most of us and more clouds of doom-and-gloom seem to be in the forecast. It’s so tempting to give up, to throw in the towel and declare “It can’t be done”—whatever the “it” is.

And yet…there is that small spark within us that isn’t quite ready to quit. Fan the fire with three key ingredients: action‚ belief and commitment.

Start with belief—you have to believe in what you want and believe that you can accomplish it. Can you describe your goal, your dream, your objective? Why is it important to you? What three qualities or abilities do you possess that will make it possible for you to achieve that goal?

Follow with commitment: make a plan to follow and a promise to follow that plan. Figure out the key steps that will take you from dream to reality. What do you need to do today, tomorrow, next week to keep you moving forward?

Finally act: don’t talk, but do. Every day, take one small step toward your goal. No excuses, only action.

At the end of the month, review your progress. You will be amazed at how far you traveled!