Holiday De-Stressing Tips

Holidays are supposed to be a joyful time, an opportunity to reconnect with those we love, share special memories of seasons past while looking forward to a new year. But all too often, the holiday season is fraught with tension and disappointments, and January brings with it not only post-season bills but a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction with the events that took place between Thanksgiving and New Year’s.

We are conscious of things not quite turning out how we had hoped, and yet we are hard-pressed to identify what exactly went wrong, or how we could have prevented it from happening.

What we do need to do is recognize our own expectations and concepts of what makes a holiday perfect. We need to recall what has worked in the past, identify what is truly important to us, and find ways of using this new understanding to achieve a more positive outcome.

If you want to make sure this coming holiday season is joyous and fulfilling for everyone, create “Take Control” lists before the holiday bustle begins.

• Start by listing 15 traditions or activities that must be part of each holiday to satisfy your own inner needs, from serving a particular food to visiting with someone you don’t normally see throughout the year. These should be special to the holiday season, something you would miss if you didn’t do it. Then choose five items from of the list that you will do this holiday season without fail.

• Next make a list of 15 activities that you do each holiday that you really wish you didn’t have to. Do you throw a big holiday gathering that is more work than pleasure? Do you mail out 100 Christmas cards because you have to, not want to? Are you baking 28 kinds of cookies because everyone expects you to, but that leaves you hating the sight of the oven? Choose at least five from that list to eliminate.

• Finally, list 15 goals for the holiday season. These can be financial, such as “I won’t go over my holiday budget,” emotional such as “I will make peace with my parents,” or even activity-oriented: “I will spend the day making and decorating cutouts with my children without complaining about the mess they are making.” Choose five from that list that you will keep.

Encourage all family members to get involved in creating their own “Take Control” lists. The holidays, after all, are a time when friends and families strengthen the bonds that exist. By focusing on what each person, including yourself, truly finds most precious, you increase the chances for everyone to enjoy a less-stressful and more rewarding holiday season.

And don’t forget those who are less fortunate than you. National organizations such as the American Red Cross and Salvation Army as well as your local non–profits and food banks desperately need your help. It’s true what they say‚ “It is in giving that we receive.”