Shiver of fear vs. perspiration from effort

Many times, the Fear Monster is fed by our sense of inadequacy. We think we can’t do something, so we decide not to try it. We’d rather not be a failure (in public or in private) so we give up before we make the attempt.

In short, we operate on the principle that the only acceptable outcome is unqualified success, and, if we can’t manage that, we shouldn’t even be on the playing field.

Well, guess what: no one succeeds all the time at everything. Great pitchers strike out, Olympic runners stumble, scientists watch their latest experiments fizzle instead of foam, singers hit flat notes and actors get panned instead of praised.

Failure isn’t a personal flaw. It’s just a fact of life. It’s how we find out what works—and what doesn't.

Remember Edison and his efforts to invent the light bulb? He’s quoted as saying, “The electric light has caused me the greatest amount of study and has required the most elaborate experiments. I was never myself discouraged, or inclined to be hopeless of success…Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.”

So instead of letting that cold shiver of fear deter you, go instead for the perspiration that comes from making an effort!

Freedom from fears

Fireworks, flags, picnics with a red-white-and-blue theme…Must be Independence Day!

We U.S. citizens honor our forefathers and foremothers for their bravery and courage in fighting for their (and ultimately our) freedom—in their case, it was freedom from British tyranny.

But many of us fight a personal battle on a regular basis, fighting against the oppressing and restricting fears that hold us back from our dreams and desires, our goals and objectives. We want to accomplish so much with our lives and yet…What if we fail? What if people laugh at us? What if we start something and then can’t get out of it? What if…

The truth of the matter is that fear thrives in darkness. When we are unable to see clearly, we start imagining all sorts of evil monsters waiting in the shadows, ready to leap out and attack us. When we let our fear (legitimate or otherwise) overwhelm us, we are unable to deal with them constructively.

If you find yourself shackled by fears, then get ready to celebrate “Declare Your Freedom From Fear” week starting July 1 by arming yourself with these fear-fighting weapons!

Start by shining the bright light of reality on your Fear Monster. Write down exactly what you fear. Is it a specific event, an outcome, a person’s reaction?

Then ask yourself: Is my fear reasonable? How likely is it that what I am afraid of will occur? Or is this fear just the product of irrational thought processes that have little basis in reality?

If it isn’t very likely, tear your fear up in little pieces and resolve to save your “worry energy” for more legitimate concerns.

If it is likely (for example, there is a good chance you might lose your job/might have a health problem/might experience the end of a relationship), then remind yourself that the best defense is a good offense. Take control and attack your fears by following these three steps:

Step One: Analyze the situation. Imagine the fear became reality and you need to deal with the outcome. How will it affect your life? What options do you have? What strengths do you possess? What members of your support network can you call upon for help?

Step Two: Prioritize your tasks. Fear thrives on inaction so start right now making a list of what you need to do and whom you need to contact first, second and third. Along the way, jettison those tasks and responsibilities that can wait until your current situation is under control.

Step Three: Strategize—develop your plan of attack. You have figured out your options, identified your internal and external support systems and prioritized your tasks. Now put it all together by developing a solid strategy. Every day, pick one task from your priority list and do it. Action builds strength and the stronger you are, the less power the fear monster will have over you.

If you are fighting the Fear Monster, click on the COMMENTS link and tell us what you are most afraid of and why. And if you’re one of the fortunate ones who have defeated the Fear Monster, use the COMMENTS link to share your tips with the rest of us.