skip to main |
skip to sidebar
We want to make a change in the world. We see the suffering—in Haiti, in Africa, in all those countries ravaged by war and disease—and we want to do something.
But so much is needed and we are just one single person with limited resources. We feel defeated before we begin.
Where to start? With one small step. As Mother Teresa said, feed one person.
- Donate one can to the food bank.
- Send one dollar to a relief agency.
- Buy one sandwich and then hand it out to the homeless person on the street.
Do just one thing.
Will it have a huge impact on the suffering in the world? No.
But it will have a major impact on those you help and on yourself as well, because, with that “just one thing”, you have stepped off the sidelines and joined those working for a solution.
It’s not my fault. My parents/school/economy are to blame.
We love to point the finger when things go wrong in our lives. Whether we hold our family accountable or our work environment, whether we blame politics or religion, we can always find someone or something to target that isn’t us.
Yes, it’s true that circumstances and people can throw a monkey wrench in our plans, hurt us, anger us, set us back or even knock us to our knees. And despite hindsight’s famed 20-20 vision, sometimes, there was no way we could have foreseen what had happened.
Okay. Fine. But it has happened. So what are we going to do about it? Are we going to focus on what happened in the past or are we going to take an active role in handling the present? Are we going to moan about how our plans were destroyed or buckle down and make some new plans?
A major part of success relies on adapting to the current situation and redefining our priorities to match what is, instead of what was or what we hoped would be.
We make a choice to take the initiative.
We make a choice to let go of past realities so we can reach for future opportunities.
We make a choice—every day—and each choice redefines who we are, what we want and how we will achieve our goals.
I can’t.Funny how we believe that saying we can’t do something absolves us from making the attempt. It’s far easier to declare our inability than to work on developing that which we lack. While there are, of course, limitations to what we can achieve, for the most part, our abilities are, from birth, programmed to change.
Newborns can’t hold their head up, yet, give them some time, and they will be raising their heads and turning them from side to side. First-graders can barely print their name yet, with the right education and motivation, by adulthood will be putting their thoughts down on paper or on the computer screen. And rather than being a limiting factor, age offers more options to discover who we are and what we can do.
When we make the choice to grow, try harder, be open to possibilities, we become more than the sum of our past abilities. We move closer to the person we wish to be.
Do as I say, not as I do.
A familiar phrase and one that far too many people adhere to. They believe that they don’t have to “walk the talk” and that that saying is as good as doing.
But the truth is, when our actions and words are not in alignment, it is what we do that speaks the loudest and can have the greatest impact on our lives and the lives of those around us.
We choose, each day, whether we are truly the people we say we are, whether we adhere to the beliefs we claim to hold dear, whether we are guided by the standards we supposedly espouse.
And when there is a conflict, it makes us less than what we can be and, in returns, weakens our ability to make this world a better place.
It’s not always easy to match our behavior with our beliefs. It requires a conscious choice. But each time we make that choice, we become closer to the person we want to be—someone with morals, standards and convictions—someone who will make the world a better place because we are better people.
Right or left? Up or down? Here or there? Go or stay?
While some people complain that they have no choice, others are defeated by a surfeit of choices, a multitude of options, an excess of opportunities.
They don’t know what to do and so they do —nothing. And they believe by doing nothing they have avoided making a choice.
But inaction is a decision, a conscious act to stay in one place: physically, mentally, emotionally, or morally. It isn't a way to avoid action but an action in and of itself.
If you are overwhelmed by the number of choices you are facing, start by clustering them in categories: this group involves health, that group involves relationships. Then select one category and identify your goal for that area. Finally, choose the option that will move you closer to your goal.
Live your life one step at a time, one goal at a time, one choice at a time.
What’s holding you back?
Chances are, if I asked people on the street what is keeping them from achieving their goals, they could give me a laundry list of reasons: lack of time, education or energy; difficult circumstances or people; fate or finances.
We have a million excuses why we aren’t getting where we want to go or gaining what we want to have. And we use those to justify our self-defeating behavior and our negative self-talk—in other words, our pessimistic, unconstructive and cynical attitude.
But the truth is, there are people who faced the same setbacks and roadblocks we face, and still kept going. There are people who heard the same number of “no’s” we heard and still kept asking. There are people who were kicked by fate and beat down by circumstances and still kept getting up.
These are people who have an attitude of belief, who make the choice, every day and in the face of great odds, to try again. Why? Because what they are trying to achieve means enough to them to make the effort worthwhile. Because they believe in what they are doing and in what they want to accomplish. Because their energy is directed toward the future, not in reliving the past.
If 2009 was the year of change, make 2010 the year of choice. Each day, decide what matters to you and then make a choice to honor that decision with your attitude. You may not always be able to choose your circumstances but, as Viktor Frankl wrote, you can choose your attitude to them. Negative or positive, it's your choice.
Most of us love getting presents. It’s not just the surprise of unwrapping the “just perfect” gift but also the recognition that someone cared about us enough to put us on the gift-giving list.
And if, in the midst of trying on the scarf or listening to the CD (or doing whatever the gift called for!), we looked up at the gift-givers, chances are we will see a smile on their faces. They are as happy as we are. Why? Because giving generates joy not only in the recipient but also in the donor. It makes us feel good to get and equally good to give.
Interestingly enough, the amount of pleasure we receive from the act of giving has less to do with how much we spent and more to do with the spirit in which it is given. When we give openly and freely of our time and energy, when we give not only from our wallet but also from our spirit, we generate a wave of happiness that not only flows toward the recipient but also returns to us.
Feel the joy. Embrace the bliss. Wrap yourself in the pleasure of giving!
Posts
